Untidy Fruit, AKA Mellon Collie and the Reconstructed Sadness

In the big, knotty orb we live on, music arouses gobs of sensitivities that (shocker) vary from human to human. Ire; misery; rapture; recollection; perplexity... These alongside other emotions can affect the artists gauging the massesʼ opinions, as well. Not a nuanced take, sure, but it IS a take -- ringing true on a constant basis. Returning to my previous remarks, those latter three responses are an apt summation of the record I want to tackle. However, for such a behemoth to receive the traditional review stamp wonʼt do the contents justice. It warrants a... different approach. 

A brand new slice has entered the ring. Itʼs the Tweaklist. The vict--- sorry, lucky contestant, who will come on down to start it off? Hi, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness!

Night and day -- literally

Mellon Collie has an amorphous story and omnium gatherum of styles going for it. Alt-rock nonconformists The Smashing Pumpkins designed a beast very distinct from Gish and Siamese Dream -- two thrilling projects that were able to fuse grunge, psychedelia, dream pop and shoegaze. A double album loosely dealing with tangible sorrow, to say Billy Corgan and comrades upped the ante for this undertaking is restraint on my end. 25 years and a bald, inappropriate narcissist in, Pumpkinsʼ third release has maintained its revered rep in many camps. Even killjoys have the heart to at least understand what the group tried to convey.

Iʼve appreciated the bejeezus out of the 28-song monster since late teenagehood. That said, upon conceiving this post, the glowing words directed at Mellon Collie dulled. Stemming from its length, garbled structure and TERRIBLE sequencing, the album isnʼt close to pure as the driven snow. Still, Mellon Collie contains plenty to be keen on: its prime cuts are absurdly prime, the playing is well-nigh strong across the board and John Craigʼs illustrations suit the offeringʼs pomp, ambition and indulgence. 

We ought to saddle up for an unprofessional course of action: track-by-track dialogue! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ...What? 1) As I had discussed, the effort wouldnʼt be beneficial to cover as expected; 2) A.H.M is MY child, soʼs I gots carte blanche to raise ʼem how I see fit. When the accountʼs finished and my feelings on Mellon Collie are parroted, an alternate tracklistʼs going to be shared (preferably a version with one disc as opposed to two). ...Be afraid.

1. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

The Dawn to Dusk arc begins with a piano-led instrumental that establishes the tone for Mellon Collieʼs dualism. On the schmaltzy side, although still an irie soundscape most effective in the context of the record. Be that as it may, the goal is to condense this creature into a single disc, therefore t/t wouldnʼt fare so hot on a shorter caper. Doomed AXE.

2. Tonight, Tonight

Segue into a stone cold classic. With heavenly, classical-laden arrangements helped by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, “Tonight, Tonight” is majestic. Further strengthening the soaring strings are the animated percussion acrobatics and the zeal Corgan carries -- divisive nasal aside. No ingredient exhibited rubs my ears improper. Wholehearted STAY.

3. Jellybelly

Holy jarring shift! Get used to these mood whiplashes, people -- Mellon Collie has them in spades. Following “Tonight, Tonight” is a genuine ripper, enhanced by downtuned guitar spell casting. MVP Jimmy Chamberlainʼs animated precision on the kit shouldnʼt go unnoticed, either; do be accustomed to Chamberlainʼs member getting caressed. “Jellybelly” is blueprint alt-metal/grunge handled with extreme care. Corgan pulled an enormous dumb by NOT making this the lead single; or “1979”. That hook is a certified murderer! STAY.

4. Zero

In spite of its fan favorite label, the more I analyze “Zero”, the weaker it gets. It possesses a tolerable groove, Ihaʼs harmonic squelches in the bridge and is a brief relief. Pumpkin King Corgan has to barge in and tarnish decency in the process. His annoying lyricism in tandem with equally obnoxious inflections ruin what couldʼve passed as a fun ditty -- and though the satirical celebrity edge is admirable on paper, the sarcasm flatlines. AXE.

5. Here Is No Why

Basking in unabashed stadium folly, “Here Is No Why” is a wonder with the faintest jazz possible. The arena riffage, Corganʼs pleasant croon control and the songʼs phantasmagorical character coalesce into a magnificent gem. How electric! Swift STAY.

6. Bullet with Butterfly Wings

Played. To. Death. Mellon Collieʼs gargantuan hit is an archetypal nineties anthem plebeians and aristocrats  couldn’t escape. Disenfranchised individuals continue to sing its praises from the rooftops -- whether theyʼre fixing up memes or not. “Bullet” had me fooled... Recently Iʼve latched onto the belief that it was on all occasions a middling midtempo rocker -- a forgotten Siamese Dream remnant infested with narm; permission to have the phrases ‘The world is a vampire’ and ‘Despite all my rage, Iʼm still just a rat in the cage’ outlawed? Suppose itʼs okay to throw on the radio, but itʼs painfully dated and overrated in the present climate. AXE.

7. To Forgive

One of the bandʼs greatest mellow compositions -- heck, possibly their finest somber lay...? Hmm, strong claim. “To Forgive” is brimming with elegant sadboy atmospherics, Chamberlainʼs muted drum beats and a Corgan that gets both his vocal AND thematic passages right. Itʼs wistful excellence with the sole problem being its placement between a rather furious tag team, which is no detriment to the song in itself. Mega STAY.

8. An Ode to No One

Pumpkins set the difficulty level to Bellicose mode again. The violent drumming is predictably on par, as is the compositionʼs blanket aggression, but can we PLEASE hogtie Corgan? Like “Zero” prior, “An Ode to No One” is a decent slapper the masterʼs obligated to defecate on with his snarling delivery and yikes lyrical content. Miss me with that ‘bumblebee mouth’ gobbledygook; the same applies to ‘Vaseline afterbirths and neon coughs’. ...Yes, I’m nitpicking. In any case, I must take a Virgin Mary AXE to this sour baby Jane. 

9. Love

Contrary to the title, I’m certain to find “Love” a walk in the park to loathe. Its goth and cyber components are neat in the abstract -- traits the act would ameliorate on Adore -- but the methodology is sophomoric. The track trudges in a humdrum fashion while Corgan uses a thick rotting cat drawl. #9 on Mellon Collie is an idea that should have lingered as a hypothesis. Titan AXE.

10. Cupid de Locke

A deceptively sweet number. “Cupid de Locke” is a lush stroke of genius that has the Pumpkins toying with an autoharp, scissors and an aspirin container. I seem to recall turning a blind eye to what the folks were attempting to achieve here -- past me was a clod. Without question one of the more slept-on compositions, albeit a touch strange on first go. It’s an amazing demonstration of Mellon Collie’s intriguing heterogeneity. STAY.

11. Galapogos

Oh, God! Corgan schemed smart! “Galapogos” is a cynosure comfier than layers of lightweight jackets. Intricacy is the name, including harmonies that are soft, yet sonorous -- the bulk of the instrumentation acts accordingly. There isn’t anything else I could possibly say concerning this Elysian trip to the galaxies. STAY.

12. Muzzle

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... AH!! Could “Muzzle” be any more dull? Granted, there’s nothing inherently OFFENSIVE about the song, it’s just bland alt-rock that for some cockamamie reason saw release as a promotional single. Struggling to wrap the blurb up... Ooh! Given Corgan’s verbal filter (or lack thereof), the name is apt. AXE.

13. Porcelina of the Vast Oceans

Artistic and prog-oriented, this number is dispiriting. It offers a spacious, elongated intro transitioning into a leviathan with foofaraw that doesn’t amount to a lot in the long run. Swear I enjoyed “Porcelina” more than my current attitude indicates. Charged with contrast it wastes, the piece is too drawn-out for its lasting duration. Fair withal. AXE.

14. Take Me Down

Marking the conclusion of Dawn to Dusk, conservative “Take Me Down” is overlooked as hell. The backing lap/pedal steel contributions are sharp, a decidedly sparse production increases the song’s tearjerker nature and then the singing... The track stands as one of two writing credits on Mellon Collie attributed to Iha, and boy does he perform vocals incredibly well. In all honesty, he’s better than Corgan the majority of the time! A lovely tune that does a marvelous job polishing off Disc 1 -- it could prove potent as the outro to my tracklist(s). Absolute STAY.

15. Where Boys Fear to Tread

Woo-hoo, the median... Fatigue’s starting to assume shape, but I’ll keep at it. So Twilight to Starlight opens with the lumbering crunchgasm that is “Where Boys Fear to Tread”, which sees the Pumpkins embracing a sludge-tinged flavor.  The track is grand, mean and strangely hypnotic. I have to say its status as the Disc 2 opener is an oddity -- coupled with the feedback-y preamble, it can be a nuisance to stomach. Chiefly nothing to sneeze at. STAY.

16. Bodies

Indisputably the best stomper on Mellon Collie. Containing insane energy and romanticism, “Bodies” is infectious front to back, with not even Corgan’s wincing death-tier penmanship (‘Love is suicide’?) deterring from the ditty’s delicate attack. On that note, his performance is intense to the point where his cleans transmogrify into spine-tingling screams for the pre-chorus parts! It scorches speakers and tackles riffs embarrassing what the previous ragers had in store. Giga STAY.

17. Thirty-Three

A pristine wave of lulling balladry, “Thirty-Three” creeps on its auditors in a phenomenal manner. Often it whisks me away to a peculiar oasis -- a haven rife with cheese similar to the track, but preserves a quantum of conviction so immense the cornball factor is redeemed. Echoing flangers, shimmery vocals and uncomplicated ultrasonics are the perfect match. STAY.

18. In the Arms of Sleep

“In the Arms of Sleep” has a bleak country-meets-folk feel that simply works. Thanks to flow, it’s not the most immediate entry on Mellon Collie. Still, the poignant strumming and steady progression are rewarding -- especially for those willing to digest the song’s snoozer status amongst the rest of the crowd. Teetering on begrudging STAY or A--- hold on, it’s a STAY.

19. 1979

My baptism as a Pumpkinhead occurred because of this track in particular. At the time it dropped, “1979” was stylistically unexpected. Electronic recording techniques were encouraged, mainly samples and vocal loops, while the band’s slab of alt-rock was made unobtrusive. Jointly evocative and danceable, #19 is a paragon -- one that remains easy to approach, that ‘Billy Corgan rides a rollercoaster’ vid notwithstanding. Obvious STAY is obvious.

20. Tales of a Scorched Earth

Blasting, discordant and an affront to stability -- thatʼs “Tales of a Scorched Earth” in a nutshell. Itʼs a divisive, OTT bundle of force that wonʼt give a shit about who it scares. The song can be too much to endure, plus its spot on Mellon Collie is questionable. I have reached a verdict that the compositionʼs... chaos is definitely fascinating. A later song on the affair executes this unbridled mayhem with more class, ergo regretful AXE.

21. Thru the Eyes of Ruby

Hooray, more tonal clashes... I get the impression Corgan kept sacking editors from every angle. He too will be sacked. Whatever transpired, “Thru the Eyes of Ruby” arrives to clean “Porcelina”ʼs clock, adding enough epic rockisms and melodious accents that justify the seven minutes it lasts. Its inviting brilliance lies in its frequent layered guitars and multifaceted skin barrage. STAY.

22. Stumbleine

“Stumbleine” is notable for its rough hue -- apropos seeing that it IS a demo. The acoustic minimalism in conjunction with blunt lyrical imagery and Corganʼs hushed showcase altogether are a refreshing recipe. When a track so unadorned is this tragic, no varnishes are necessary. STAY.

23. X.Y.U.

Paired with “Tales” as the heaviest material to comprise Mellon Collie, “X.Y.U.” is a gradual descent into the abyss. Itʼs musical psychosis stocked with nauseatingly thick textures, grinding guitar witchcraft and Corgan employing no shortage of demonic vocalizations. While repetitive and a speck cringetastic (‘In the eyes of the jackal I say KABOOM’ says hello), the songʼs wicked bombast is largely endearing. STAY.

24. We Only Come Out at Night

...The hell? I bear several questions: 1) What was this doing in an Apple iPhone ad? 2) Was it vital for it to sound akin to a missing scene from a PBS Kids series? 3) Why does the track come hot on the heels of “X.Y.U.”? “We Only Come Out at Night” is extravagant and doofy. Brownie points for comedic value... perhaps? Discombobulated AXE.

25. Beautiful

Booooooring bilge. Pumpkins going the trip hop route is far less engrossing than I had anticipated. The most mediocre tune on Mellon Collie and the Dʼarcy Wretzky Despair bar none. AXE. ...Half-assed songs necessitate half-assed descriptors. 

26. Lily (My One and Only)

Has my pneuma left the building? Yes? No? Was the next Marvel vs. Capcom finally announced? ...Oh, sorry! Where am I on the album? Ah! The vaudeville-imbued “Lily” is dainty as it is nightmarish, detailing a straightforward narrative centered on peeping toms. Evidently ridiculous, yet adequate for the vibe Corgan and crew were communicating. It... exists. AXE.

27. By Starlight

On the bright side, Mellon Collieʼs worst stretch is finito -- whatʼs more is “By Starlight”, a gorgeous penultimate choice. The track is a spiraling beaut engulfed in candy-coated synths, reverb and a broadly snug aura that never lets go. “Lily”ʼs music hall aesthetic before this cosmic rearmost is lousy sequence-wise -- make a drinking game out of the trillions of times I lament the albumʼs sequencing? STAY.

28. Farewell and Goodnight

Reinforcing the recordʼs concept is a lullaby -- a sustained, tranquil berceuse. “Farewell and Goodnight” caps the entire creation nicely, featuring lead vocal duties via everyone: Corgan, Iha, Wretzky and (his only publicized mic contribution) Chamberlain. Like the t/t, unfortunately, itʼd seem wrong on an abridged Mellon Collie. Distressing AXE.

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is inconsistent, hammy and drags harder than a legion of dogs on leashes. Itʼs also an imaginative, diverse and picturesque outing that occupies its own space. These days Gish, Siamese Dream and Adore are superior products, but in an idyllic realm, this album would triumph if the Pumpkins had simply trimmed the fat. 

Now is the moment youʼve been waiting for: ideal tracklist hour, baby! 

MELLON COLLIE: SHRUNK VARIANT